Why Naps Are Dangerous
by MissJenca
Summary: All he wanted was a nap. Was that so wrong? For the OP Reverse Bang.


Jabra woke up to an annoying itch on his nose. Not quite enough to make him sneeze, but enough to keep him from sleeping anymore. Damn it, it had been a pretty good nap too. Stupid itch. He tried to ignore it, but it wouldn't go away, and eventually he surrendered.

He opened his eyes and saw a small lump of black feathers and attitude sitting on his head. "Oi! Get lost!'' He growled at it. Jabra felt something hit the right side of his head, but the situation went unchanged. "Seriously, scram!'' Jabra received a grumpy caw in reply, and another couple flaps to the head. "Beat it, I'm napping here.'' The small bird finally moved with another unimpressed caw, a small raven with a wing it more awkwardly dragged than carried. It took up a space on Jabra's chest, staring as if it dared the man to do something about it before snuggling down to rest. Jabra was mildly impressed with the bird's spunk. "Fine then. But don't wake me up again, bird.'' Jabra went back to sleep, and absolutely, obviously not careful to not dislodge the bird.

Jabra woke up, but refused to open his eyes. He had that certain feeling that he was being stared at. "Oi, beat it.'' He huffed, ''I'm nappin' here.'' The staring continued. "I'm gonna kill you if you don't get lost.'' The lack of response in word or action continued, and Jabra gave up. "What the hell do you want?'' He sighed angrily.

"That bird is hurt.'' It was Kaku. That giraffe bastard, of course it was.

"So?'' Jabra snorted.

"We should help it.'' Kaku sounded worried, but Jabra refused to look. He might still get that nap in.

"It's sure feeling fine enough to bug me.'' Jabra countered. "Let it alone.''

Kaku didn't reply, but the bird moved, and the small 'ouch' meant that the bird probably bit the bastard. A couple more attempts, and Kaku left. Jabra gave a huff of praise to the bird, who snuggled back into place. Well, if the little bastard was going to help, he could stick around. Jabra went to sleep, and totally didn't leave his arm to make sure the bird didn't roll off. It was just more comfortable, damn it.

Jabra tried not to wake up. He really did. But now he was never going to remember whatever the good part of that dream was. The damn bird was sqwaking loudly. "Now, now, I just want to help.'' Dammit, Kaku.

"And I just want to sleep. Is that so wrong?'' Jabra groaned. The bird continued to fuss, not unlike Kaku.

"But if we don't take care of it, it might die.'' Kaku frowned, and Jabra groaned. "I just want to take it to Lucci. Lucci knows how to care for birds, right?''

"Lucci would have to give half a damn.'' Jabra countered, and Kaku's mouth opened and closed a couple times. Score: Jabra. "Look, if you can convince the asshole to come here and do something about it, then good for you. Otherwise, buzz off.'' Jabra closed his eyes, the bird's returned silence confirming Kaku's exit. He most certainly didn't check to make sure if the bird was comfy. Or breathing.

Jabra woke up to glare into a familiar flat gaze. Well, son of a bitch, Kaku pulled it off. There Lucci was, giving half a damn. Only half mind you, but for a bastard like Lucci, that was a lot. The bird was going after Lucci's fingers, cawing at him and Hattori angrily. Jabra officially cared about the damn ballsy bird. "What the hell are you doing?''

"Assisting this tasteless bird.'' He countered dryly, ignoring Jabra's growling in favor of the raven's wing.

"Ain't nothing wrong with him.'' Jabra huffed.

"Besides it's poor choice in company? It's wing is broken.'' Lucci said, working as best he could between Jabra's complaints, the bird's pecking and cawing, and Kaku's intent and worried stare. Jabra could tell Lucci was purposely taking longer to do this than he needed to, just to piss him off. That was it exactly; Jabra was for sure not that worried about the little feathery bastard.

. . . Okay, he was a little worried about the little feathery bastard. But that did not mean he couldn't blame Lucci for it anyway, the smug ass. Hell, he'll blame Kaku too. Not as much though; the poor bastard was still a giraffe.

Eventually, Lucci was done, and the bird now had one less floppy wing in nice white bandage and a very sore attitude. It tried to give Lucci one last peck for the road, but missed a button instead. Jabra still put that as a point in the little hell-raven's favor. Now all that was left to do was convince Kaku to get lost, and Jabra might finally get that nap.

"Well? What the hell are you waiting for?'' Jabra asked, glaring at Kaku. Jabra did not grin when the raven glared at him too. At most he smirked a bit.

"Are you sure it'll be okay here?'' Kaku asked, but anything else was interrupted with a loud caw.

"He's been here all day, dumbass.'' Jabra pointed out, with another caw from the bird for emphasis. "Just get going, before I make you.''

"Okay, okay.'' Kaku relented, walking away annoyingly slow. Just to make sure, of course. Damn giraffe. At least he could get some sleep now.

Jabra did not wake up incredibly worried when the raven was missing off his chest. He also didn't give a sigh of relief when he saw it make a small bed of his ponytail. He was, however, very grateful to be able to roll over. That was pretty considerate of the little bastard. It may have been snoring, or something like it, but Jabra would almost call it cute. You know, if he were like that, which he's not. Deciding to ignore those particular lines of thought, Jabra fell asleep.


End file.
